The inevitable.

We buried a friend today, November 18th 2015, way before his time. I wont get into specific details about what happened, but will say it was needless. I feel I might have been able to help him in some way, but never got the chance. My life experiences, as dark and crazy as they might have been, can be useful in relating to other people's struggles. I've been holding off talking about it because it scares the hell out of me, that I could be gone and my kids not have a father. I know my wife would be fine, she's hot and would be able to find someone to take care of her after a while. But, what have I done in this life? Have I left this world a better place? I'm not one of those hypocrites that talks about how pious they are at church and then sins all week long. I'm not a celebrity (thank God, most of them are assholes) or a musician. I am a father. My greatest feat as a human. What will my legacy be? My friend that passed away had all the potential to be someone who could change the world, but battled too many demons in his short life. Brilliant mind, but unable to step back and see the big picture of where his actions were leading him. What I have learned as a teacher is that everyone has potential, it is only those that use it, that will make it in this world. I was in the "gifted" program as a child, but settled for a 2.4 GPA in high school because I was lazy and didn't want to realize my potential. Getting sober has allowed me to see life in a new light. I still battle depression, fear, anger and loneliness almost daily, but in lesser amounts. I can appreciate the journey, rather than spend all my time looking for the destination. I guess that is where I am today. My legacy will come.